Feed the cow, not the Monkey. And other Indian Culture traditions.

This morning I heard a racket in our driveway and went out to find Rena screaming at a monkey. “The monkey ate the cow’s breakfast,” she exclaimed to me, rolling her eyes. Of course.

Sure enough, five minutes later the cow walked into the driveway with the “cow owner” and we had to make a new plate of food. The “cow owner” walks her cow around every morning to various homes for a free breakfast. In addition to the religious benefits that accompany this act, the obviously poor cow owner gets money for the milk the cow produces. Not a bad social welfare system.

On my way back from yoga in the morning, I often see my neighbors down on their hands and knees drawing kolam. I try to picture folks back home giving up their Starbucks for drawing chalk figures before work?

I usually am offered a fresh banana from Meena’s puja in the morning as ingesting bananas that were prayed over as offerings to the gods means you are ingesting some holiness. It seems to be working, miraculously, I have yet to be run over on one of Mysore’s rickshaws.

Ashish let me know to put a kumkum on your 3rd eye and throat right before any highly-competitive table tennis match (his father was college champion) as it is supposed to improve your ability.

Placing fool (the beautiful string of flowers) on the god’s photo brings good luck, or wearing it in your hair protects against evil (and more important foul smells I later learned).

Feeding first God, then husband, then guests seems to be a good way to lose weight for Indian women.

No fried food one year after a death is keeping other heart-attack victims in the Gupta household healthy.

No “al dente” food – only fully cooked or raw, stops stomach confusion (and the former keeps my stomach at ease).

I’m sure I’ll be adding a few more to this…