My Independence.

A few weeks ago I was having lunch with a group of businessmen in Bangalore. Everyone at the table had lived in the states and were now back in India and the question came around to what we all miss most about America. The responses varied from more time on their hands, open space, less obvious air and noise pollution and then the question came to me. Only one thing (besides my boyfriend, family and friends), my independence.

With the exception of the yoga area in Mysore and the cosmopolitan areas in Bangalore and Mumbai, I won’t walk out the door without my arms and legs covered – and in Delhi I won’t leave the door unless I have a male companion, especially after dark. I could, but that only increases the presence of the Indian men and their camera ready cell phones and incessant badgering (many people ask if I feel unsafe in India and the answer is absolutely not, I just feel harassed). In my fancy hotel in Bangalore, I was greeted with a hand-written note from the manager welcoming me as a “single, female traveler” stating that they would screen my phone calls and offer me a personal escort (not the kind men hire!) if I desired. I usually walk as most Indian women do - my head lowered, never meeting anyone’s eyes, sweating under my wrap. It’s actually not a big deal.

Nothing compared to the lives of most Indian women (of course the elite women are exceptions) – married by fourteen, lucky to get four years of primary education, repressed or murdered by their husbands and in-laws (I just read there are 70 women set afire in Bangalore each month), the list goes on…and I can’t write more as it depresses me too much.

I love my country. Despite my embarrassment at the colossal mistakes my country has made (I usually claim to be Californian as opposed to American – hoping that this softens the perception), especially in the last six years, I am eternally grateful to be born American. I can dream and am empowered to fulfill my dreams, there is no greater gift. Thanks again to those American women before me who demanded more.